Trying not to care.

One of the things that bothers me the most about myself is the fact that I care too much about what other people think. High school was hell, mostly because of this and there was no-one else to blame, but me. Most people don't even know it as it was all in my mind. I just had to get over it, but that was sooo much easier said than done.

Even nowadays, I'm still caught by the fear of whether people think I am weird; if they think I'm unpretty or just generally don't like me. I want to be liked so bad that I'm embarrassing myself even more. It's a vicious circle that's hard to break, and trust me: I've tried. The contradicting part of this story is that people often don't even think that much of me... Funny how someone (me) can be so insecure, yet have their mind set as if others spent the majority of their time watching them and forming an opinion. Fact: people really do have better things to do, and that's what I've been telling myself too.

That's why I'm trying not to care too much anymore. I've already got so much going on in my life that I can't spent my time trying to convince others I'm actually like-able. If they don't like me: fine. It's easy to write this down and these words require actions to be taken in real-life, but I'll do it. It's something I have to conquer in order to move on. And I'm ready to move on 'cause I really like this path I've decided to take. It's my yellow brick road, and I'm on my way of becoming a fierce lioness.